


ren and haru go on a date

by eatmynagitoes



Series: super lovers crack fics because im loosing my sanity :D [1]
Category: Super Lovers (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Crack, Cute Ending, Dogs, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Help, Inspired by Sweet Home Alabama (2002), M/M, Memes, POV Karen Page, Police, Pseudo-Incest, Short & Sweet, Song: WAP (Cardi B ft. Megan Thee Stallion), Super Lovers Weeks 2017, Temporary Amnesia, The FitnessGram Pacer Test, Therapy, Unresolved Sexual Tension, haru gets arrested, haru is a step bro shagger, im loosing sanity, oof, what are you doing step bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:47:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28394118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eatmynagitoes/pseuds/eatmynagitoes
Summary: ren and haru go on a date but its actually a therapy appointment and haru crieshe also gets kicked out, breaks a door and also breaks his arm
Relationships: Kaidou Haru/Kaidou Ren
Series: super lovers crack fics because im loosing my sanity :D [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2184471
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	ren and haru go on a date

**Author's Note:**

> for legal reasons this is a joke

“Come on Haru we’re going out” Ren said, dragging his idiot brother out of the door

“Are we going on a date?” Haru asks.

“No, we're going to your therapy appointment because you almost died you fucking idiot!” Ren explains, continuing to drag his dumbass brother out the door. 

Haru then starts sobbing like a fucking toddler because you know why not.

“Haru shut the fuck up and stop throwing a tantrum or ill punch you in the face” Ren growled.

“But Reeeeeennnnn” Haru whines, hugging the smaller boy.

Ren just turns around and socks Haru in the face and he falls over.

“Lol knockout, one point to me” Ren said, laughing.

Haru just gets up and continues walking to his therapy appointment.

*in therapy*

“Haru what happened to your face?” the therapist said.

“My boyfr-- er i mean step brother punched me” muttered haru.

“Okay lol dont care, er anyways have you still got amnesia?” the therapist asked.

“Wait what’s that again?” haru asks.

The therapist just sighs before kicking haru out for being an uh oh stinkee man.

“Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeen where r uuuuuuuu, i wanna kith” haru cries.

Haru sprints home like sonik the hedgehog because he's zoom zoom man and breaks his front door.

“haru wtf why did u break the door” aki said.

“I need kith from ren so i super dooper zoomed home” haru said jumping on ren.

“Get the fuck off me u perv im trying to do the  [ The FitnessGram Pacer Test ](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=The%20FitnessGram%20Pacer%20Test) is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter  [ pacer test ](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pacer%20test) will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal  [ bodeboop ](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bodeboop) . ” ren says shoving perv man on the floor

*Oof roblox death sound here*

“I think my arm is broken lol” haru said

somehow the school nurse was randomly there so he yeeted an ice pack at him

“Thanks homie” haru said his arm going baboom and magically fixing because this ice pack was magic or sometime i dont fucking know 

doctor man then left because he was sick of the stupid old looking fossil

“Reeeennnnn pleeease my dick is itching to be in that puthaaayyyyy” haru whined

“Ehem do i have to call the cops or?” shima said

Kiyoka then bursts in with iku singing the sweet home alabama song 

Sweet home Alabama

Where the skies are so blue

Sweet home Alabama

Lord I'm comin' home to you

“Perfect for mr step bro shagger over here if i do say so myself” shima said doing the fucking basic glasses push up thing that all the swag bitches do

“I am offended how dare u call me that i will sue your ass” step bro shagger who is apparently a karen said throwing his expired coupons at shimas face

shima just walks away like the badass he is

“Oh shut up haru he’s not wrong” ren said

“says the one who tried to fuck my cousin because I said no” haru replied 

ren just thrown a mini pity party for himself for going to his room 

Bark bark said tanuki woof woof 

haru followed him because he’s a big simp 

“ren I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make u cry sniffle sniffle” haru sobbed

haru opened the door to see ren stuck magically in the wall because he tried to teleport like an enderman but failed

“step bro I’m stuck” 

*insert pornhub intro here*

!!! warning this bit gets a little seggsy nuts owo ushy gushy my pussy !!!

“What are you doing step bro” masturbated ren as he feels big bros long eggplant emoji prodding his peach emoji 

“I’m gonna park my Big Mac truck right in this little garage” orgasmed haru 

but just before things could get super smexy hot uwu wap mop and bucket yarichin bichi osu dayo…

“this is the po po open up before I taser u” the police people said

“oh shit” step bro shagger said sitting on the bed 

“oh yes tazer me owo uwu my pussy is mop and ushy gushy” ren said 

the police then arrest haru for being a step bro shagger and for annoying the therapist with his bullshit 

he is now in prison lol

the end 

**Author's Note:**

> THANK U FOR SITTING THROUGH MY MASTERPIECE OF THE ADVENTURES OF HARU THE STEP BRO SHAGGER :D
> 
> poor haru, he gets no hugs from ren he's in jail now
> 
> i might make a part 2 like when hes arrestedn't 
> 
> tanuki says i hope u have a borktastic day <3
> 
> im mentally stable i swear
> 
> LOVE YOU ALL :D


End file.
